Our Story

He’s AR and she’s AR, and together we are AR².

By the time we met, we’d both retired from “the game.”

Nothing dramatic. No announcement. Just the quiet decision two grown professionals eventually make: that the search had been thoroughly conducted, the results were in, and lasting love was probably something that happened to other people. We were in the wilderness. We had made peace with the wilderness. We had, frankly, decorated.

Then came Bumble. (or Hinge if you were to ask him…)

For anyone unfamiliar with the mechanics: on Bumble, the woman has to message first. Anandhi messaged first. Keep that in your pocket, because it explains everything that follows… although Anandhi denies it all.

Date one, she arrived dressed like the Church Lady—buttoned to the chin, nothing to see here. Adrian, to throw off the scent of the petty, wore a monogrammed, cuff-linked dress shirt with the buttons deliberately misaligned to give that absent-minded professor vibe. We were simply two people having dinner, each convinced they weren’t looking for anything serious.

Date two, Anandhi arrived late. Adrian was already seated facing the door, with nowhere else to put his eyes. There’s a Mos Def song that describes what happened next and it is definitely not going on this website (but if you know, you know!). Adrian lost his train of thought, his agenda, and whatever credibility he still had on the subject of not looking. He felt she’d been running a play since message one but in his defense, he never saw it coming…and if you join us on the dance floor and we’ll happily tell you the full story—and share “our song.”

Date three lasted eight hours. It ended at Anandhi’s house and, before anyone gets excited, what happened there was a conversation about our children and The Body Keeps the Score. Adrian boarded a plane for Guadeloupe with his kids the next morning on almost no sleep—and with an entirely different set of plans for his life.

Then came the real tests:

Anyone can be charming over dinner. Airports are different. Delayed flights, expired passports (!), wrong hotels, impossible maps, and the ninth hour of a museum neither of you wants to admit you’re finished with. We started with Brazil. We are ten countries in and still speaking.

While traveling together has been the best part, it was only the warm-up. The real test was life, raising children, balancing demanding careers, navigating the stresses of daily life and standing by each other in our toughest moments. Anandhi had just lost her father when we met. Less than two years later she lost her mother and then recently her dear cousin. Through each season of grief, Adrian was steady in hist support and, quietly became her rock. We learned that relationships are not only built in the fun and adventures but in the ordinary days, really tough days and the decision to keep choosing each other—even when it’s hard.

Adrian Rich plus Anandhi Rajakumaran. AR², greater than the sum of our parts. Black American and Sri Lankan American. It turned out our learning each other’s cultures was never the work. The food, the art, the music, the languages, and the willingness to eat something we couldn’t pronounce because the line was long and the grandmother running it looked serious. We’d both been carrying all of that around for years with nobody to share it with. Two self-declared nerds (one of us a blerd) hitting the world the way a toddler hits a jungle gym for the first time.

One of us built an IT company—on a five-steps forward and one-step-back schedule. The other lives half her life on a plane, leading a private equity emerging markets fund at the IFC. Between us we’ve built careers we love and raised children we love even more. We’ve also seen the toll that demanding careers can take on relationships yet neither of us had to get any smaller to make room for the other.

Now we look forward to building a beautiful life together—filled with family, adventure, laughter, and a new home where everyone is welcome.

We were married on July 1.

On September 19, we’re opening the doors of the house where all of it finally sits under one roof. Seven children and two grandchildren between us. One address. A considerable amount of luggage.

We can’t wait to celebrate this next chapter with the people who have loved, supported and cheered us along the way. Come celebrate with us!